What does victory really mean?
I don’t know if you find that question typical. I mean, looking at your written and unwritten list of dreams, isn’t this easy to answer? But one afternoon while I was watching the sky from our car, I felt like God asked me what victory means specifically to me.
Since November stepped in, my mind was constantly on the Memoir Writing Class I organized. I prayed hard before promoting the event, even asked God for a lot of “confirming signs”. (You should know that organizing an own workshop is mighty frightening. Preparations and impostor syndrome aside, it puts your empty pocket at risk). The arrows seemed to be pointing to His yes, though. I ventured forth.
I began devising a marketing strategy. Then I executed it. I gave it my all, thinking this class shouldn’t fail. I was positive that this class will get as much as or more participants than the last two workshops did. I was aiming for an intimate one, anyway, just enough to break even.
But that afternoon, in the car, I found myself at my wits’ end. Sure, people were showing interest, but time was in a rush and I wasn’t getting the number of enrollees I needed.
“What does victory really mean to you?” I felt like God asked me.
Victory, victory, victory. In my mind, I saw the image of a room packed with aspiring memoirists and running pens. I was in front, marveling at the beauty of their life stories. Not only that, all costs covered. Everybody was happy.
That, however, felt beyond my reach in reality.
I started looking elsewhere and saw (1) the skills I honed from merely promoting the event, (2) the bravery and humility marketing taught me, and (3) the beauty of the art of memoir that I’d soon share with the participants. I sensed a tinge of happiness burgeoning in me. Suddenly, I felt how thirsty my heart was for peace, and all I desired then was to put everything in God’s hands.
“So perhaps,” telling God in my mind (or maybe it was God talking to me), “real victory isn’t in getting a certain number of participants for a memoir class, nor in being a known published author of several books, nor in owning a large fortune. Real victory is in the process of getting there. It is in what you’ve learned, in what made you better as a person, in what new skill you gained, and in how much little things nourished your soul.”